Layman Understanding:

My hope is that, by now, you have read enough to notice that I am not delving into deep scholarly or scientific rhetoric. For those who know me, those are two things I like to address the most. However, this early on in my blogging, I would like to keep as much as possible in layman terms. The reason is that, for many, belief is a big deal. For the Christian religion, it’s everything. Blessed are those who believe yet have not seen. The Christian religion hinges on accepting an individual whose human existence is dubious at best. And whose divinity lacks any solid merit. Now we’ll have scholars who will debate this until the cows come home. But here is my point; with so much riding on belief in this deity and son, it should be far easier to understand.
My journey to atheism began with a desire to understand god better. I wanted to be a better Christian. I felt I needed to really study the Bible and find what it was that I felt like I was missing. I asked preachers and other self proclaimed experts how to accomplish this. They told me sincere prayer and study. Ask the holy spirt to guide my readings, and devote time to it daily. So I did. I prayed earnestly, and then my wife and I would read every night. We began at the beginning and worked our way word by word, passage by passage. I’d read the NT several times this way. But never the OT. And boy was I shocked. So many things I never knew were in there. Suffice it to say, what I found led me to my neutral position, as I could no longer believe in the god I once thought was real.
I spent the next few years, debating, angry, because I wanted to believe. I wanted someone to show me what I was missing. But alas, it was not to be. Eventually I became more and more rooted in my disbelief. Instead of finding proof for this god, I found more and more reasons to doubt. Which brings me back to the topic. If true, the Bible should be able to be picked up by anyone, anywhere, and they should be able to clearly see the god that it speaks of. And yet, the opposite is what I have found. The most Learned scholars, that I have been able to find and have conversation with, seem to always get stumped by my questions. They always revert to the faith explanation. You just have to have faith.
I would hope, that if I were an all knowing, loving god, that I would not make it so difficult for my creations to know me. I wouldn’t have a religion based on a book with errors, contradictions, and so much needless violence. It would be a simply book, understood in any language as clearly as if it were written solely for that individual. Were I an infinite being with infinite knowledge, it seems as though that would be a simple task. But I guess working in mysterious ways makes it more fun.
Again, I leave the floor open. While I admit that at this point, it will take a true miracle for me to change my position, I ask you, do you know your god well enough to show it to me?

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